I Hate How I Love You
by Lightning of Light
Summary: It's summer and Ichigo is home alone with Isshin. Everybody he knows is on vacation or working. What will Ichigo do when his alone with Isshin. Poor Ichigo has to face what happened to his mom. Plus trying to avoid the fact that he loves Isshin, his father. He hates just how much he loves him. But what's he suppose to do about it?


I know some people don't like this couple, but I have to say they are one of my favorites. I hope ya'll like it. Oh and if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes tell me.

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**Ichigo's POV**

It was a normal day for me as I got up from my bed to see the beautiful sunrise. But was suddenly I heard goat face yelling, " GOOD MORNING ICHIGOOOO!" When I heard him I sidestepped out of the way with a tick mark appearing. He ended up crashing into the floor just like every other time I'm aware of my surroundings.

I laughed at him and prod him with my foot. " Your a damn shinigami and you crash into the floor, your mentor should see you now?" He just looked at me sourly and gets up to sit on my bed his happiness renewed. I go to my closet to get a shirt for the day, not that I had anything to do. It was summer and now that Rukia and the others were busy in Soul Society I didn't really have anyone to hang out with. Well there was Keigo, but I didn't want to hang out with him, cause it's pretty obvious that he annoys the living hell out of me. Everyone else was either at their families house or traveling, I still remember Ishida's dad dragging him into the van for some 'quality time vacation'. I was apparently to busy thinking when there was a punch to my head. I turned around to see him laughing triumphantly. _Damn him and his easily restored happiness._

" Get the hell out dad, I'm changing." I yelled.

" What am I supposed to do Karin and Yuzu are gone. My beautiful girls are gone!" He cried comically. I rolled my eyes at him Karin was in Tokyo training for soccer, while Yuzu was spending two weeks at a friends house. I didn't mind them being gone, they really deserved to go on vacation. But they better be have fun or my effort to get them away from goat face will be completely ruined. Plus I need a little time alone with him.

" Dammit dad, why are you exaggerating? They will be back. You make it sound like their dead." I sighed aggravated.

He just let his head hang down while walking out of my room looking like a lost puppy mumbling. " I know, but I miss them." I just rolled my eyes again. After I put on my gray shirt and beige cargo shorts, I walked down stairs to see dad struggling with flipping the pancakes. I burst out laughing when he finally managed to flip one, but ended up on the ceiling. He turned around to see me and frowned at me laughing at him. " What's so funny?"

" Nothing just," I clutched me stomach, " I have never seen you try to cook." I wheezed for air, " Let alone that was hilarious when the pancake flipped into the ceiling."

" Well I thought to would be nice if we could eat breakfast like usual. I know I'm not good at cooking." He pouted.

I looked at him for a minute, I could tell he was trying to make breakfast. Plus I was hungry so I went over to him took the spatula from him. He just looked at me curiously as I motioned him to go sit at the table and wait. After I finished I had two plates of three pancakes, four pieces of bacon and two eggs. I brought the plates over to the table and set one in front of him, then moved to the seat in front of him and sat my plate down. I asked, " What do you want to drink?" I was already at the fridge getting me some orange juice.

" I'll take orange juice too." I just got another glass and poured it in. I put up the juice then walked back to the table with the drinks. I gave one to him then went and sat down at my seat. I started to eat when I saw him looking at me weird. " What is it now?" I asked. " Nothing I just didn't know you could cook." " Oh yea, Yuzu taught me just in case she wasn't here. She said something about not wanting us to die of hunger. Or food poisoning..." I reply in undertone so he didn't hear the last part of my explanation. He just smiled and thanked my for cooking. I almost blushed hearing him complementing me. When we got done eating I headed to the living room and sat down on the couch to watch some TV. I faintly could hear water running in the kitchen and dishes clanking together, but I was to busy trying to find a good show. I can't believe there was nothing on except an anime called One Piece, and a old show called Bonanza. Now what am I supposed to do now? I won't be going to Urahara's because he's too weird, and I'm definitely not hanging out with Keigo. I decided to watch the old show when I heard dad walking in. I turned around to see him walking over to sit beside me.

" Thanks for breakfast. Are you just gonna sit here all day and watch Bonanza?"

" Yeah pretty much there isn't really any thing else to do." I sighed.

" Well that must suck. Your a freaking shinigami why don't you just go find hollows to slay?" He asked.

" I could do that, but whats fun about chasing them. Why not just let them find you? Plus I want to be lazy for awhile since I have kinda been busy with being a substitute shinigami." I laughed.

He just looked at me oddly and purses his lips in a quick thought before nodding. Then I went back to watching the TV. We just sat there laughing at the shows jokes and how they looked at things. By the time the the show was over we were having a great time. I couldn't believe it, because we always fight each other. I thought to myself maybe it would be great to spend time with him like this more often. But then again after the girls get home all the calmness will end, and we will go back to our normal selves. But who cares, as long as he doesn't try to hit or get under my skin, cause it would ruin the whole purpose of me trying to have alone time with him. After Bonanza went off, it was 1:15 I decided that I should make lunch. I got up, headed towards the kitchen to start, well aware of goat face's eyes drilling small holes into my back. I feel a slight shiver down my back while I open the fridge to get out the ham, cheese, mustard, and mayonnaise. Then walked over to the counter where the bread was, got out four pieces of bread and made two sandwiches. When I was done making them I grabbed two sodas then walked back to the living room. I jumped back into my spot on the couch which was the right side making the couch shudder under my sudden weight. I grabbed Isshin's plate and handed it to him, then tossed him his soda. I sat back into the couch watching the TV shows, while eating my sandwich. After awhile I feel someone staring at me. I turned around to see Isshin staring at me with wide eyes.

" What is it now?" I asked sightly ticked.

" Nothing I'm just really surprised that you made me food too." He said.

Raising my voice I said," You think I can't mange to fix two lunches?"

He tilted his head to the side a little. " Why would I think that. I just thought you hated me or disliked me a lot. But after today I don't know what to think."

I looked at him and questioned myself: _Why would he think that?_ _Sure maybe he gets on my nerves a lot, but hate him?_ _I should be hating myself because I love him. _I raised my head back up from thinking and looked at him in the eye. " I don't hate you or dislike you. Why do you think that I do?" I asked utterly confused.

" Well um, I guess since your mother died you started distancing yourself from me and your sisters. I just assumed you didn't like me. I knew that you did like your sisters, because of the whole becoming a shinigami was because you wanted to protect them." He said quietly. I just stared at him, wondering where the hell he thought that up. Plus I did feel a little guilty, because I distanced myself from them, but that was only because I felt that it was my fault that she died.

I looked down at my lap. " That's not why I kept my distance." I said softly with a sad undertone.

" Then why my son?" He asked curiously. I winced at when he said son, knowing that I was thinking was out of line. I knew that he was my dad. I also knew we could never be together. After that thought I started to get depressed. I decided to just get it over with then go to my bedroom and stay there the rest of the day.

" When mom died I felt that it was my fault and tried to stay away from ya'll. I thought you might end up hating me if I stayed to close." I sighed feeling the depression come over me.

He just looked at me for a long time, before he said, " Ichigo, we never ever thought that it was in anyway your fault. I knew for a fact that a hollow killed her. I kept thinking if I had just been there, if I had felt the reissue of it I could have been there in time two save both of you. I thought it was all my fault for the longest because I had the power to kill it, but wasn't there to. After awhile I knew that she wouldn't want anyone blaming their self for her death. She died to save her son and she was proud to do it. Don't you ever think it is your again." I just sat then thought about how much he loved her. I was mad at myself for being jealous because my dad still loves my dead mother. I mean just how messed up is that? I have to be sick right? I need to stop thinking about it. I raised my hand up then slapped myself to stop thinking about it. Isshin looked at me like I was crazy, which I probably am.

" Why did you slap yourself?" Isshin asked dumbly.

" Um, I didn't want to get depressed over what I was thinking." I answered truthfully.

" What are you or was gonna get depressed about?" He questioned. I flushed red right when he asked, I didn't even need a mirror to know that. He just looked at me weirdly. Just waiting for me to say something.

I blinked several times before answering, " Um, me and Zangetsu running hand in hand through a field of cake. Plus the whole Soul Society are cupcakes cheering us on." I lied awfully. I hoped he would buy it because he's isn't so bright or a least I hope he isn't. He looked at me seriously for second.

Which almost had me running, but he said, actually quite seriously but I can see a suspicious glint in his eye. "Ok, then Ichigo, I think you need some rest to make your brain function again. You might have fried your brain cooking breakfast earlier." My mouth was hanging open at the shock of him saying that. I couldn't believe he took what I said seriously, he can't be that dumb can he?

" Yeah sure, whatever. I'm gonna go to my room and sleep a little." I said still shocked at his stupidity. I got up from my spot on the couch and starting making my way to the stairs. I whispered softly, " I hate how I love you.

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Well if anyone likes it, I'm glad. I am also thinking of doing a sequel for this. I think I'll call it: It's so Wrong, It's Right. Review if you like this story or would like another. Or just review it anyway.

Oh yea go find DemiseSurvive'sfor great Fairy Tail stories.

Thanks for reading! ~ Lightning of Light ~


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